the susie solution

One of the most enjoyable courses I ever did in homeschooling was in critical thinking.  We used a book from Critical Thinking Press (marvelous source for all kinds of thinking-related materials.)  The book first had a short course in logic (e.g. The statement “All dogs are mammals, and all mammals are animals, therefore all dogs are animals” is true, but the statement “All dogs are mammals and all cats are mammals therefore all dogs are cats” is NOT true.)  The book then presented various blind spots, mind traps, and slick tricks that people use and/or fall prey to, dissecting each of them carefully by applying the principles discussed in the first part.    Political speech and advertising, not surprisingly, provided that vast majority of fodder for the analysis.

One very successful sales ploy is the “limited time/amount” sale.  The “Call now!  Operators are standing by!  This offer good until only midnight tonight!” TV ads.  The “lowest price of the season” ads in the newspaper.  (Ever notice just how many “seasons” some stores have??)  The “Only 5,000 of these minted!  Don’t miss out!” commemorative coin.  The “I can only offer you this price today because the boss is on vacation” car deal.  Marketers know that there is something deep in our psyche that reacts to the idea that there won’t be enough of something to go around.

The weeks since my last post have been the calmest I’ve had since Thanksgiving, with only one or two minor unexpected things cropping up, and a few major issues resolved.  Although I know these days have had the precise number of minutes in them as any of the days preceding them, they’ve felt hours longer.  I’ve gotten so much done!  Last Thursday, I actually got my sewing machine out for the first time since mid-November.   I had only just started a set of curtains before Thanksgiving was upon us, so I hastily got them done enough that I could at least hang them from the rod so our guests would have something nicer than an old sheet over the window.  With Mama’s cancer diagnosis coming right after Thanksgiving, and all that has been since, I hadn’t touched those curtains again.  I’ve now gotten them done, and not only the curtains, but two covers for throw pillows on the couch.  Hurray!!!

Why didn’t I get them done before now?  I just didn’t have the time.  No time.  No time.  That’s been my mantra for the last 7 months:  I don’t have time.  I don’t have time.  “No time” became a reason – or an  excuse – for not doing all kinds of things.  Exercise?  No time.  Eat right?  No time.  Keep in touch with friends?  No time.  Work on projects?  No time.

I’m not denying that things have been quite hectic – they have been – but two things recently have helped me realize that it was my perception of how busy things were that had more to do with the problem that the actuality of what was going on.

The first thing was that I read an interesting article in Readers Digest a month ago about insights from a book called “Scarcity:  Why Having Too Little Means So Much”  (by Shafir and Mullainathan).  The book’s authors are social scientists who have studied people in the context of a variety of contexts of scarcity – people who are financially poor, people who are extraordinarily busy, people who are dieting, people who lack social companionship – and what they have found is quite interesting.   To quote the RD article,

“…whenever we perceive a lack of something – be it food, money, or… time – we become so  absorbed by it that our thinking is altered. … ‘Scarcity captures the mind.’  the authors write.  ‘The mind orients automatically, powerfully, toward unfulfilled needs.’ … in all kinds of  circumstances, the psychological effect of scarcity was remarkably similar:  a kind of tunnel    vision that can help us focus on the immediate need … but that can also have negative long-       term consequences, both in terms of ignoring other important areas of our lives and not making       good decisions for the future.  ….  Fluid intelligence, cognitive capacity, and executive control all   come under what Shafir and Mullainathan term mental ‘bandwidth,’ and even the slightest               suggestion of scarcity taxes our ability to reason properly, control our impulses, and think clearly.”  [emphasis added]

So, for example, the chronically poor may be great at squeezing 6 nickels out of a quarter, but they tend to be poor at making decisions that will lead to longer-term financial stability.  People who are dieting may become so focused on what they are eating – or rather, on what they are NOT eating – that they can’t focus on their work.  Looking back, not only on these last 7 months, but on other hectic times in my life, I can clearly see scarcity-mindset-induced tunnel vision, poor impulse control, and brain fog in my own life.  Faced with a belief in the scarcity of some resource, we all fall prey to the same kinds of effects.

The other thing that happened that jolted my thinking about how much time I have was a conversation with my younger son.   When he dies, his epitaph should be, “I was reading this article the other day….”  You see, he is ALWAYS reading.  He pulls up the most interesting facts and theories from all kinds of sources about all kinds of subjects.   What amazes me is where he finds the time to fit it in!  You see, at the time of the conversation I refer to, he was spending time every day working out to keep in top physical shape, as is expected for a physical trainer.  And taking a class in Muy Thai kickboxing.  And one in jujitsu.  And learning how to kite board.  He had a standing pool game night with friends once a week.  Played in an ultimate Frisbee league every week.  Went for frequent hikes with friends.  Was working part-time 20 to 30 hours a week.  And, oh, yeah, did I mention he was in his last quarter of his senior year getting his bachelor’s degree in kinesiology?  I asked him if he actually did things like, you know, sleep.  Eat.  Relax.  He responded, “Mom, there are 168 hours in every week.  Even getting the 8 hours of sleep a night that I do still leaves 112.  My various classes and work and hanging out take about 80 hours a week, which still leaves around 30 hours for other things.  Besides, reading is as ‘relaxed’ as I get.  My brain’s always moving!”

Hmmm…..

I have those same 168 hours in MY week.  I added up how I typically use them and frankly, it’s too embarrassing to share!  I wasted more time than I want to admit watching TV or catching up on facebook, or doing things that, while more-or-less useful didn’t advance the causes that really needed advancing. There’s a considerable amount of time that I simply can’t account for.  I am not the ADHD Energizer bunny that my son is, so it’s not that I would expect to rival his level of activity, but I can see now that even in the busiest of my weeks, I actually HAD time that I could have used to get things that mattered done.

Instead, I had tunnel-vision, getting hung up on the idea of needing large blocks of time to do things, rather than breaking projects down into their component tasks that would take smaller blocks.  Those curtains?  It took four hours total to finish them.  That’s only 8 half-hour sessions, or 12 of 20 minutes, or even 24 of just 10.  There’s no way I couldn’t have found that much time in the last 7 months.  Ditto with finishing the pillow covers or any of the other many sewing projects languishing on my sewing table, or the many computer projects waiting to be done, or who knows what all else! (Writing blog posts, unfortunately, isn’t something I can do in snatches.  It would be like trying to swim laps in a wading pool!)

Going back to the “poor decision-making” aspect of the scarcity mindset, I can see how many times I did something that “saved” time for the short-term that actually COST time in the long run.  For example, if I put something down “for now” where it doesn’t belong, I may forget where I put it, resulting in time spent looking for it, or the object will gather friends around it, resulting in taking a much longer time to put everything away than it would have taken to put them each away properly in the first place.  Oftentimes I didn’t take time to plan things out thoroughly, resulting in backtracking, undoing, redoing, leaving things undone, and so on.  Taking the time to plan things in the right order would have cost time in the short run, but saved time in the long run.

All this has gotten me thinking about how we fall into the same scarcity trap spiritually.  When we worry about running out of any earthly resource, what we’re really worrying about is whether we are going to run out of God as well!  We start acting as if we were on our own, having to fend for ourselves.  We get the same tunnel vision, unable to see anything but our fear.  We have the same poor impulse control, jumping at anything that looks like a solution.  We lose our ability to reason, our minds “hamster wheeling” round and round on “what ifs.”

God promised that HE will always be sufficient.  Always.  If we don’t have time to do all that we need to do, HE will be sufficient to deal with the consequences of anything left undone.  If we don’t have money enough to pay our bills, HE will be sufficient to help us deal with the consequences.  If we never meet that “Mr./Miss Right”, then HE will be sufficient to help us live a life as full as the single life He lived.  Whatever our shortage, His grace is sufficient.  His strength is sufficient.  His power is sufficient.  HE is what we need, nothing less, nothing more.  There’s no such thing as scarcity when it comes to God.  He has never run out, and never will.  If we focus on how much there is to have of Him, we’ll lose our fear of not having enough of anything else.

His is the Best Ever exclusive, limited time offer.  It’s only good for His children, and only good for Eternity.  Don’t wait!  Call now!

In a few days, “come Hell or high water” as the saying goes – with the latter being pretty literally true back East – we will have yet another Election Day.  Here in Washington State, as in, I think, three others across our country, there is much agitation over the possibility of homosexual marriage becoming legal, not by jurisprudential fiat, but by popular vote.  It was passed by our legislature last spring, but now faces ratification by the people in the form of a referendum to either confirm or reject it.  I hope it will be rejected, but I fully expect to see it approved – if not this time, then next.

While I do believe that homosexual sex is as wrong as any sex outside of the Genesis definition of marriage, I often find myself more uncomfortable with most of the Christians writing letter to the editor, ranting on the radio, and carrying snarky signs at protest rallies than I do with the majority of people advocating for homosexual marriage.  I expect the World to be the World, to act on its own (lack of absolute) values, to follow its leader, the Prince of Darkness.  But how is the Church responding?  Consider.

First, how are we reasoning?  If a Muslim came to me and began to rant at me over the fact that I do not cover my head because IT SAYS SO IN THE Q’URAN, I would not care.  No matter how many verses of that book he could quote at me, it would be futile, because the Q’uran means nothing to me since I do not accept it as valid.  Yet I constantly see Christians using the Bible to argue with non-Christians!  “This verse SAYS YOU ARE WRONG!”, shooting verses like bullets, attempting to slay the others’ arguments.  Non-Christians do not accept the Bible as Truth, so why expect them to respect arguments based on it?  (Even if someone is a Christian, but is rejecting clear Scriptural teaching, beating them over the head with a Bible is seldom persuasive.)  The fact that the Bible says homosexual sex is a sin is not a cogent argument for the World as to why they should not legalize it.

Some Christians object to the idea of children being raised by married homosexual parents, but children have been being raised by long-term homosexual couples for years now.  I have yet to see any documented evidence cited that being raised by homosexual parents results in general mental health damage.  No study so far has shown any greater likelihood of children growing up to be homosexuals themselves.  Obviously, such children share their parents’ convictions as to the propriety of the relationship, but if we are going to deny marriage based on the immorality of the parents’ beliefs, we sure better broaden the category, because the children of heterosexual couples who support homosexual marriage share that same viewpoint.

The concern is raised of businesses being sued for not accommodating homosexual marriages, honeymoons, etc. This argument against homosexual marriage only sort-of flies because such discrimination is already illegal.  All states have “sexual orientation” listed in their non-discrimination laws.  (Check out what suits have been filed, and you will find that there are very, very few, and of those that have been filed, only one or two are in states with legalized homosexual marriage – and even in those, the suit isn’t related to the legality of homosexual marriage.)    That Christian adoption agencies could be forced to not take into consideration the sexual orientation of a couple seeking to adopt a child is an issue of the agency being free to operate according to its own moral beliefs, but is not an issue of the legality of homosexual marriage in and of itself. (And if an agency is trying to have it both ways, following its own principles, but wanting State funding to do so, then the agency has no claim.  What the State pays for, the State sets the rules for.)

I’ve heard some Christians charge that homosexuals who want to marry want to do so in order to destroy the institution of marriage.  I gotta admit, the logic of THIS entirely escapes me.  On the contrary, I can entirely understand why they would want TO marry.  From an emotional point of view, marriage is the ultimate commitment.  Looked at from a legal point of view, marriage is the instant passport to an astonishing array of legal benefits.  (Over 200, I think I saw cited.)  It is possible to take legal steps to acquire many of those benefits through other means, but it is very expensive and time-consuming – and there are some benefits that CANNOT be achieved through any other means.  Speaking strictly from the world’s point of view, which, remember, has no moral absolute, I can fully understand why homosexuals would want to be able to legally marry.

And that IS what is at stake. LEGAL marriage, not God-created Marriage.  God defined marriage in Genesis:  a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife and the two become one flesh.  In the creation of Eve, the original one flesh of Adam became two.  In the sexual union of Adam/male and Eve/female, the oneness of the original creation is restored.  No male-male or female-female union can accomplish this reunification.  God further details what He intended for marriage in His instructions through Paul, culminating in the revelation that marriage is a picture of the union between Christ and His bride, the Church.  Now, the Genesis definition certainly applies universally and requires a relationship only between man and wife, but Marriage as a reflection of Christ and His bride is only possible where there is a covenant between a believing man and woman and the Lord.  This is Covenantal Marriage.

In LEGAL terms, however, a State marriage license simply creates a contract between two people and the State.  It makes no requirement of a “till death do us part” commitment; the contract is binding only so long as both parties continue to agree to it.  The contract makes no requirement of emotional commitment; the State doesn’t care if the two parties even LIKE each other.  The contract has nothing to do with sexual activity, either; sex is not required for a marriage to be “valid”.  (A marriage license is not “permission to have sex”, either, since the only sex illegal in the U.S. is prostitution or with a minor.)  In the State’s eyes, the legal contract called marriage is simply for the purpose of ensuring stability within society, and providing an established line for inheritance.  (It used to have to do with providing for the care of children produced, but that has changed with welfare, DNA testing and child support laws.)  For the State’s purpose, then, the gender of the parties involved really has no bearing.  Since legal marriage is a contract with the State, then what the State sanctions, it has the right to dictate the terms of.  It is up to the State to determine who may perform a legal marriage; who may enter a legal marriage; under what conditions a legal marriage may take place or what requirements may be placed upon those seeking to enter into the legal contract; what benefits may accrue to those parties; and what obligations are incurred by entering into the contract.   The State can do whatever it likes with the contract marriage under its purview.  It cannot destroy, redefine or change Covenantal Marriage.  The two should never be confused, even though the same term is used.

Many Christians fear that if homosexual marriage is legalized that pastors would end up forced to officiate for homosexual couples.  Nope.  Well, possibly, but only under one condition.  Remember when the pastor says, “And now, by the power invested in me by God and the State of X, I now pronounce you husband and wife”?   Most pastors have chosen to act as agents of the State, which means that in performing the wedding they are serving in the capacity of a civil servant who is licensed to perform the ceremony and sign the State marriage license.  But it is not REQUIRED that they serve in this capacity.  If the State were to remove a conscience clause so that any pastor acting as an agent of the State would be required to marry any and all couples so requesting, then I expect most Christian pastors would get out of the legal end of it, performing only church ceremonies, which, as strictly a religious function of the church, would be out of the State’s control.  Christian couples desiring a legal marriage would have two ceremonies – one civil, one religious.

The day may come when Christians will have to choose between identifying themselves with the State and obtaining LEGAL marriages that are the same as any other marriage approved by the State, or foregoing the State’s benefits and choosing to participate only in a Covenantal Marriage.  We will have to decide how to deal with the fact that our children, if they attend a State school, will be taught that homosexual marriage is normal.  (They’re already being taught that homosexuality itself is normal.)  We may face penalties for speaking our belief.  Pastors and churches could face tax implications or other legal sanctions.  Is this really something new?  Hasn’t the Church always suffered for its refusal to bow to Caesar?  Do we suppose that our alleged “Christian” heritage, and our “freedom of religion” somehow exempt the Church in America from facing such persecution?  All political systems belong to the Enemy (when Satan tempted Jesus, he wasn’t lying when he claimed that all kingdoms  were his), and the Enemy is dead set against the children of the Light and against everything that is Good and True.  As citizens, certainly we should take advantage of political means to fight the erosion of our political “rights”, but as Christians, we should not be surprised at the World being the World and should be prepared for the inevitable consequences.

Above all, we must be sure that we are keeping our witness like Jesus.  No one can accuse Jesus of being “soft” on sin.  His Sermon on the Mount ratcheted the definition of sin up to whole new levels, in fact.  So much so that no matter how good we might be at not doing forbidden actions such as murder, we all know we’re hopeless when it comes to not even harboring attitudes that we’re not supposed to, such as slanderous rage.  Yet one thing we don’t see in Scripture is Jesus haranguing the “sinners”.  We don’t have seven “Woe to you!” condemnations about sins being committed by the World.  In the account of the woman caught in adultery in John 8, the Pharisees wanted to show that Jesus was “soft” on moral issues and wasn’t ‘upholding’ the Law.  Jesus didn’t back off the Law a bit.  He simply made clear that her accusers were just as accountable to it.  When Jesus said, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone”, guess what?  HE was that one.  Jesus is the only one without sin.  HE had the legitimate right to throw that stone.  But He didn’t.  When her self-righteous accusers had slunk away, Jesus said, “Hey, where’d they go?  Isn’t anyone left to condemn you?”  She says, “Nope, nobody.”  What does Jesus say?  “Neither do I condemn you.”  Why didn’t Jesus condemn her?   There’s no indication this was a case of false accusation; she was apparently caught in the very act.  Jesus had every right to condemn her, except that that wasn’t why He came.  John 3:17, 18  “For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world MIGHT BE SAVED through Him. For whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but he who does  not believe in Him is condemned already….”  Jesus didn’t need to condemn the woman for her adultery.  She already stood condemned.  His hope was for her salvation – “Go and sin no more.”  Such mercy!  Such grace!  What must that woman have thought of the Man Who saved her from certain death, Who spoke so gently to her, Who refused to condemn her, Who gave her a second chance at life and a new direction for that life?

Are we being like Jesus?  Prostitutes, tax collectors and all manner of sinners flocked to Jesus, but I don’t see that happening with His Church today.  Too many Christians, in fighting against things such as legalization of homosexual marriage, demonize the other side as The Enemy rather than recognizing them simply as fellow sinners like us.  We make judgments about others’ intentions, as if we could divine their hearts, ascribing to them all the deliberate evil of the Enemy.  We come across as self-appointed self-righteous guardians of purity, yet stay silent, or merely whisper, about  the extra-marital sex rate in the Church, the divorce rate in the Church, the rate of pornography use in the Church, domestic violence in the Church.  Where is our humility?  The Church itself has been doing plenty on its own to devalue Covenantal Marriage and distort the picture it is supposed to present to the world.  We have no right to be throwing stones‼

What about preaching Truth?  Yes, we do have that duty – but we are to preach the Truth IN LOVE.  Truth without love tells another he has to go walk barefoot on a gravelly path while Truth wears its thick-soled, steel-toed boots and wonders why the other complains that the way is hard.  Truth in Love tells the person he has to walk that gravelly path, but goes barefoot itself so that it may feel full sympathy for the other’s difficulty.  To simply tell homosexuals that they are damned (literally) sinners, and that “tough cookies” if they want to marry, is not speaking the Truth in Love.  To stereotype them all as drag queens in the Gay Pride Parade who are out to deliberately “rub our face” in their homosexuality is not Truth in Love. To dehumanize them and refuse to recognize our own faces in theirs is not Truth in Love.   Truth in Love does not compromise the Truth, but it sympathizes with the pain and struggle that are the consequences of that Truth.   Truth in Love stands firm on the Biblical Truth that homosexual sex is a sin, but fully recognizes the worth and dignity of each homosexual as a person for whom Christ died.  Truth in Love makes no judgment on the heart of any other, knowing that WE cannot see it, and recognizes that we do not fight against “flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness , against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”  Homosexuals are not our enemy – not even the ones who think they are, not even the ones pushing for legislation we find abhorrent.  Even if we think of them as our enemy, then guess what?  Our Lord commanded us to pray for our enemies, and He set us the example.  He blessed those who cursed Him, even as they nailed Him to the cross.  He forgave them, even as they crucified Him.

As I said, I hope the referendum fails.  Believing homosexual sex to be sin, I cannot endorse it.   But whether we wake up on November 7^th to a “brave new world”, or the same old one we had before, Jesus’ call to follow Him and be like Him will still be the same. Those who have rejected the Lord will STILL be headed to Hell.   Are we more concerned that they’re going to Hell, or that some of them may go there legally married?

On this day in 1517, the monk Martin Luther nailed a notice on the door of the church in Wittenberg, Germany, challenging all comers to a debate on 95 theses, or points of debate, regarding specific questions regarding practices of the Roman Catholic Church.  (His was not the only notice so nailed; this was the standard method of setting up debates.  He wasn’t defacing the church!)  This moment is generally considered to be the start of the historical movement known as the Protestant Reformation, one of the most influential movements in shaping the history of Western civilization.

Christianity became the State religion of the Roman Empire under Theodosius I in 380 A.D.  Catholic simply means “universal”, and apart from isolated, small pockets and individuals who resisted her rule and dictates, the Roman Catholic Church ruled supreme from that point until the Reformation.  At the time when he nailed those theses to the door, Luther had no idea of the role his challenge would play.  He was not seeking to divide the Catholic church, simply to purify it of what he recognized to be unscriptural practices, but as his understanding of Scripture grew, and as the Roman church entrenched itself in its positions, it became inevitable that there would be a split. When it came, it was shattering, for Luther was not the only reformer.  Once the grip of the Roman church was broken, numerous other denominations formed to follow their respective leaders.  The roots of every Western church – which is to say, virtually every mainline denomination and “non-denominational” Christian church that is not Roman Catholic – lie in the Reformation.

I grew up in the Southern Baptist church, which does not celebrate Reformation Day.  (I was taught that the Baptists can trace their lineage all the way back to the Gospels entirely apart from the Roman Catholic church, and thus are not “Protestant”, but in study since, have not found historic support for that assertion.)  I married a Missouri Synod Lutheran (Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, or LCMS).  In that church, of course, Reformation Sunday (the Sunday preceding October 31^st) is one of the High Festival Days of the year.  As I learned the history of the Martin Luther’s struggle and the birth of the Reformation, and having rejected the celebration of Halloween as detailed in my last post, I, too, began celebrating Reformation Day and the break from Roman Catholicism.

In the last couple of years, however, I have been doing some rethinking of the ramifications of the Reformation.  Setting aside the political power issues, and even much of the doctrinal ones, what I am struck by is a sense of sadness at the fracturing of the witness of the Church.  Now, I don’t agree with the Roman church’s teachings, and I don’t believe that all Christians should pretend to agree on all points just for the sake of presenting a “united front”.  Yet, I cannot escape the fact that I do grieve the loss of the sense of unity in the Church.

The early Church didn’t have the New Testament.  They had Jesus, His word, His deeds, His death and His resurrection.  Christ and Him crucified.  That’s it.  The multitudes that formed the early Church didn’t have to pass a catechism class, memorize a creed, agree with a thick book of doctrine, sign a 10 page Statement of Faith.  They didn’t have to give an explanation to the last jot and tittle the precise meaning of the Trinity, baptism, or communion.  They didn’t have to sign on to a specific timeline of the Last Days, the Tribulation, the Rapture, etc.   They believed, were baptized, and were “added to the number of those being saved.”  Pretty simple.

Of course, it didn’t take long for divisions to start coming in, people being what we are.  Remember First Corinthians?  “I follow Paul.”  “So what?  I follow Apollos.”  “Oh, yeah?  I follow Peter, so there.”  “Well, I follow CHRIST, neiner neiner neiner.”  OK, I’m paraphrasing with dramatic emphasis.  But I can just hear it that way because that’s what’s going on in the Church today!

Too many denominations place as much or more emphasis on maintaining their unique brand of Christianity than they do on preaching Christ and Him crucified.  (And “non -denoms” can be just as prideful of being NOT a “denomination”!)  They insist, of course, that He is what they are preaching – but they will assert that it is only THEIR brand that truly preaches Him “right”, only THEIR interpretation that is correct, pure, and God-pleasing.  I fear that for many in our churches, their beliefs about God have taken the place OF God.  Jesus said that the world would know us by our love for one another, but what the world sees in far too much of the Christian church is not love for each other, but division, strife, arrogance, elitism, isolation, and a sense of superiority to other Christians.  Paul said there is neither Greek nor Jew, slave nor free, barbarian, Scythian – but in America, there certainly is Baptist vs. Lutheran vs. Episcopalian vs. Presbyterian vs. non-denom, “Spirit-filled” vs. “unfilled”, liturgical vs. non-liturgical, and on and on we could list!  Some denominations openly question the spiritual parentage of anyone claiming to be Christian who doesn’t belong to their group.  Other denominations acknowledge that all Christians are God’s children, but, well, really, ALL Christians would belong to OUR church if they REALLY understood Scripture properly.  (It’s a good thing we no longer burn those who disagree with us.  There would be an awful lot of fires!)

I spent most of my first 40 years of life being absolutely sure of a great many things.  In the last 12, I have been gaining greater wisdom.  On more and more things, I have come to a position of saying, “I really don’t know.”  Not only do I not know – on many issues, I no longer care!  Or maybe better said, I no longer feel a need to set myself up as arbiter of The Correct Interpretation.  Why argue about what God has not made crystal clear, using that as a line by which to divide us from our brothers and sisters in the Lord, when we could be united about all He HAS made clear?  How much more good could the Church be doing in the world if we stopped fighting among ourselves, living in our own isolated little worlds, guarding our own little denominational borders, and concentrated instead on living out the Kingdom and doing what Jesus did?

I have a feeling that when we get to heaven, every one of us is going to find out we were wrong on some things.  Some of us may be wrong on a lot of things!  But we are not saved because we have cornered the correct interpretation of every Scripture.  We are not saved because we believe all the right doctrines – teachings about God.  We are not saved because we can recite a creed, confession, or catechism. We are saved by faith in the person of Jesus Christ, nothing else, and nothing less.

Maybe it’s time for another Reformation.

My dh is not a “typical” male in many respects.  For example, he is very introspective, and has no problems talking about feelings, either his or mine, and he prefers Disney movies and “chick flicks” to shoot-‘em-up-blow-‘em-up action films.  He also does dishes, vacuums and cleans the bathroom – AND regularly puts the seat down!  On the other hand, he IS “typical” male in other ways.  He is an avid football/baseball/basketball fan, following both pro and college teams, and can recite a great many statistics on players such as when they were drafted,  which round, and from which school, where they were traded from and who the sending team got in return, etc.  He is very familiar with cars and their innards, understanding the difference between differentials and alternators and cam shafts.  And he will wear a T-shirt or sweatshirt into a state of profound disrepute, then wear it in public without the slightest embarrassment.  (When we go out and he’s wearing one such, I am tempted to wear a button that says, “He dressed himself.  I’m not responsible.”)  “But it’s COMFORTABLE!” he protests.  VERY typical male, yes?

He has one T-shirt that he’s been working on for years. And years.  It has a drawing by the artist Kliban, showing his typical fat cat, this time dressed as a sumo wrestler.  (Yes, Rob is a sumo fan, too.  NOT typical American male.)  The front and back of the shirt have front and rear views of the kitty.  However, 11 years of wear left it with every edge frayed – collar, sleeves, hem – an assortment of other holes, and what wasn’t hole-y was so thin you could see through it.  For him, it was just getting comfortable; for me, it had long been an eyesore.

So, last Christmas, I got him a new one.  The first one was an Value Village accidental find, but this time I went on-line and found a brand new one.  I figured this one would last at least as long as the first one.  It certainly would have.  Maybe even longer – because he never wore it!  I mentioned it a few times, but no results.  I never saw that new shirt again.

So, a few weeks ago, I wrote him a song and put the note with his clean laundry.  With apologies to Hank Williams, here’s how it goes:  “Please release me, let me go/‘Cuz I don’t look good anymore./I’m tired and old and worn and thin/Release me, and put me in the bin!//You’ve got a brand new shirt to wear/Without a single hole or tear./It longs for life outside the drawer./Release me, and wear me nevermore!”  It did the trick.  With a chuckle, and a sigh, he agreed to let the ratty kitty go, and start working on getting the new one “broken in”.

In my women’s Bible study group, we’ve been going through a study on Colossians for some months now.  As he also does in Ephesians 4, in Colossians 3 Paul speaks of our “putting away” one set of “clothes” and “putting on” another.  We are to put away the “old man” with its anger, rage, malice, slander, obscene talk, lying, and so on, putting on the “new man” of compassion, kindness, meekness, patience, forbearance, tender-heartedness, forgiveness, and love.

Now, it’s not that our outward actions or our attitudes are what make us the “new man”.  Scripture makes exceedingly clear that only in Christ do we become the “new man”, by dying to Sin, and being raised with Him into newness of life.  Paul says that if any man is in Christ, he IS a new creation.  The old is out, the new is in.  This is all Christ’s doing, from beginning to end, not a matter of our outward actions or our attitudes. As in other aspects of life, clothes do NOT make the man!

However, once we have been made that “new man” in Christ, we are responsible for clothing that “new man”, as God gives grace.  Just as most guys might tend to keep wearing old, ratty, holey clothes, not caring how they look, so, too, all of us often would prefer to keep ‘wearing’ the “clothes” of the “old man”.  After all, it’s much easier, and feels more natural, to be angry, to gossip, to criticize, to be selfish, to indulge sensuality, and so on, doesn’t it?  But, as Katherine Hepburn puts it in one of my favorite lines from The African Queen, “Nature, Mr. Olnutt, is what we are put in this life to rise above.”  Being improperly dressed doesn’t mean there isn’t a “new man” underneath.  We all have occasions when we have done our buttons wrong, put our shirt on inside out, or, ahem, need to XYZ, but as followers of Christ, those things should grow increasingly less and less comfortable for us.  We need to be discarding the ratty, degraded things of the “old man”, and be putting on the perfectly-fitting new actions and attitudes that God has prepared for us as suitable for the children of the King.  Eventually, those new clothes will feel as comfortable as a microfiber fleece sweater, and the old ones will be as uncomfortable as a burlap shirt.  Best of all, no matter how comfortable the new clothes get, they never get worn out, but get stronger and lovelier with the wearing.

Off with the holey and on with the holy!

I now have three granddaughters – 2-3/4 years old, and 9 and 7 months.  Having grandkids has certainly changed my life. After years of sitting in  the “guest toy box”, the toys my own kids played with have gotten to come out and have a second run.  I have diapers and changing pads and wipes in a basket under the hearth.  Cabinet latches once again have sprouted in almost every toddler-level cabinet… and upper ones are getting theirs, now that the oldest little monkey is climbing.  Outlets have plugs.  I get to read the old favorite books again….and again…..and again….and….

One of the things I am most enjoying with the oldest one, Beverly, is the opportunity to again enter the world of imagination.  Beverly, like her mother before her, is a precocious child, with verbal skills exceeding that of many 4 year olds, and an imagination to match.  Listening in on her conversations with her toys can leave me choking with laughter.

Yet, sometimes, what she has to say is compellingly profound.

In the raised garden off our back patio, I have a collection of ceramic birds.  They are charicaturish, brightly-colored little things, standing on long stakes.  Their wings and feet are attached to the body with little springs.  All have unnaturally big, funny faces with beaks almost as big as the rest of their bodies.  They make me laugh to see them!  Last summer, Beverly would get up on the wall they patrolled and walk along the cottage stones carefully giving each bird a kiss as she went by.  Well, in January (as those who read my blog know) we had a doozy of a storm.  Snow, ice, wind all combined into one major disaster for our area.  We have 26 fir trees on our property, and each of them dropped copious quantities of branches.  The yards, front and back, were carpeted with them.  When I realized that some of my garden birds had been buried, I rushed out and excavated them from their firry pile.  I stacked them all up together against the house, under the eaves where they would be safe.  And there I forgot about them.

Forgot, that is, until one late spring day when I went out to get that garden ready to put in this summer’s new crop of annuals.  Beverly was with me, happily playing nearby, when she found the pile of birds.  Oh, my!  Gramsie had to put her friends where they belonged without a second to waste.  So, in went the pink one, the turquoise, the green, the blue, the purple, and …. Oh, wait a minute.  Alas, the yellow one had not fared well from his winter encounter.  One wing had its outer half broken clean off, and both legs were missing, leaving only tiny, rusty holes.  A pretty sorry spectacle, compared to his garden-mates.

So, I said to Beverly, “I’m sorry, sweetie, but this one is pretty badly broken.  I think we better put him in the trash instead of in the garden.”  Her eyes filled with tears, and her little chin shook as she clutched the poor, damaged bird to her chest, and she wailed,  “But, Gramsie, he’s still HAPPY!”

And he was!  No matter what damage there had been to other parts of his body, his absurdly big yellow beak still held its funny, friendly grin.  His goofy little eyes still looked as if they knew a great joke they’d love to tell you.  He didn’t care what had happened to the rest of him.  He was still smilin’!

My granddaughter was right on about that bird.  Just because he looks different than the other birds was no reason to consign him to the trash – not while he still has that ludicrous glee on his ceramic face.

It got me to thinking.  Sometimes we’re too quick to consign people to the ‘trash’ category.  Maybe part of them is broken.  Maybe part of them is missing.  Their body may be warped and twisted, and maybe it doesn’t do what bodies are supposed to do.  But these people still have value.  Every person who God has made is prized by Him, and every one He has made has a function that only that person can fulfill, even if we can’t see what that is.  If there’s life, there’s purpose!

Beverly looked beyond the brokenness, seeing only the happy friend who she loved.  We, too, need to look beyond brokenness.  We may not see the smiling face of a friend, but we will certainly see the face of one for whom Christ died – and that should be enough for us.

Unless he gets smashed to bits, I expect that little bird is going to be in my garden for many years.  And he’ll still keep on smiling – and reminding me that “out of the mouth of babes” you sometimes hear profound wisdom!

Wow – first post in what seems like forever (though it’s actually only been about three-and-a-half months.)  A lot of life has happened.  Still is happening!  One of the big things that happened last month is that we officially graduated our fifth and youngest child from homeschooling!!  I got her transcript and portfolio finished, and now I’m done forever with Declaration of Intent to Homeschool forms, lesson planning, curriculum decisions, tests, evaluations, and transcripts!  It’s been a great adventure these last 23 or so years, but ……  YIPPEE!!!!!  Free at last, free at last…..

For the last couple of years, I’ve been getting asked a lot, “So, what are you going to DO with yourself once you’re done homeschooling?”  I’ve usually mentioned writing (preferably for remunerative purposes) and volunteering as two top candidates for my time.  I’ve thought about taking courses in grant writing, or maybe just some fun stuff.  Never in any of my calculations did I think about the possibility that I would basically have a part-time job caring for my cousin.

Marie has made amazing progress in clearing out, organizing and cleaning her apartment.  By God’s grace, we have found a new apartment for her, much closer to us, in a wonderful, beautiful complex.  It will be the nicest place she’s ever lived.  She is using this opportunity to throw out even more, and allowing herself to buy some new things that will better suit the new apartment’s configuration.  Physically she is doing pretty well; as stable as she’s ever been, at any rate (which, with her extreme ups-and-downs of blood sugar with her brittle diabetes isn’t necessarily saying much.)  Emotionally, she’s made huge progress in dealing with many issues, thanks to psychotherapy, meds, and grace.  But I still have to manage her general financial affairs, her medical bills, and so on.  I still drive her to and accompany her on all medical visits so that I can interpret what the docs tell her, and go over any instructions again once home, writing out big notes for her to follow.  I take her grocery shopping; her poor eyesight makes it difficult to see products on the shelves.  I was the one who dealt with change of address for her pension, Social Security, IRS, drivers license, switching the phone and cable, all that stuff.  Moving her was an all-month process so that she wasn’t overwhelmed…. most of the time.

As I was growing up, my parents and my dad’s family left a deep impression on me that you do what needs to be done for those you love.  My aunt gave up much – even most – of the last DECADES of her life to care for my grandparents.  When my dad retired at 55 while we lived in Utah, instead of moving to WA like they had planned, my parents moved back to Daddy’s home town in Wyoming to take over Grammy’s care.  When my mom’s dad grew old and frail, they moved him into their house.  What I have done/am doing for Marie isn’t much compared with those sacrifices.  The accolades directed my way – “Wow, she is SO LUCKY to have you!” “You’re such a saint for doing this!” “You are just amazing!”- while certainly feeding my already-overfed vanity, also make me raise my eyebrows.  What’s the big deal?  Yes, it’s been good she has me, and I shudder to think what she’d have done with no one to help, but I lover her, have a great time with her, and learn from her, too, so it’s not like it’s a one-way deal.  I’m no saint for doing this; I’m just following my parents’ example.  I do have a great deal of ability and expertise, but 1.  that’s nothing of my doing, it’s just how God made me, and 2.  it’s far more His grace than my ability that has enabled me to do what I’ve done! It honestly has never occurred to me NOT to do it.  Right now, I’m the only family member in any position TO do it, so I do it.  End of story.

However, that said, the truth is that I do also struggle with this “detour”.  In the first rush of the situation with Marie, there was a kind of heady exaltation that carried me along.  It was fulfilling to see how God had prepared me to handle the issues that came up.  I was truly glad to be able to finally do some things for her that I’d long wanted to.  As the reality of the long-haul nature of this caregiving sinks in, though, part of me is dismayed and wants to say, “Forget it!”   No matter how cheerful I force myself to appear on the outside, sometimes inside… it’s not a pretty sight.  After all, this wasn’t what I had planned to spend these last five months doing, not by a long shot!  I had lots of projects on my drawing board.  I was really enjoying doing this blog; writing is a tremendous creative release for me, and I’m a much happier Susie when I’m getting a chance to write.  I was looking forward to attacking my sewing pile of projects.  There’s reorganizing and sorting and painting and gardening and …..  Lots and lots of things I wanted to do.  I mean, I’m all for serving God and all that – but I’d prefer to do it on MY timetable.  I want to set my own hours, write my own job description, and, above all, I want to be able to quit when I want to  if it gets too inconvenient!

THIS is where the rubber meets the road, though.  Either I believe that my time belongs to ME to do with as I please, or I believe that my time is HIS time to use as He sees fit.  Just as our money and our possessions belong to God, so, too, does our time.   When David wrote, “My times are in Your hands” in Ps. 31:15, he was talking about being besieged by his enemies and crying for deliverance, but that line is a truth that applies to all of our life.  If we are sincerely praying that God would make us of us, we better be prepared for all that that service might entail.  A servant doesn’t get to set his own hours or choose what work he feels like doing.  A servant does what his master decides, for as long as required.  What I’m going through isn’t, in fact, a “detour”; it’s the road God has always been planning for me.  We should always hold our own plans very lightly, in an open hand, because we’re not the ones holding the road map.

And just as there is joy to be found in giving of our money to the Lord and His purposes when we give out of a cheerful heart, so, too, there is joy to be found in willingly giving away our time and our energy to His purposes.  When I am feeling resentful of Marie and her needs, doing what I need to do is a nuisance.  When I have my heart set right and am keeping God’s perspective – “what you have done for the least of these, you have done for Me” – doing what I need to do for her is a pleasure.

Those other things I want to do?  I still hope to get around to them.  And if I don’t? Oh, well!  Those things won’t make it past the grave.  The things HE wants me to get done will matter for all eternity!