It has been interesting to note the varying reactions I am receiving to the news that my mother has terminal cancer. 

Some people find my own reaction a bit disconcerting.  I cannot remember a time when I did not know quite certainly that my parents were not going to live forever.  They never shied away from talking about their eventual deaths, and always made sure they had prepared the practical documents necessary – wills, funeral preferences, and so on.  My dad dropped dead of a massive, unheralded heart attack 22 ½ years ago at the age of 68, in all other respects hale and hearty.  Ever since that day, I have been even more aware of the certainty of my mom’s eventual death.  As her age has crept up into her 80s, each year as I prepare my calendar and write down the birthdays, I have wondered if she would still be here when her next one rolled around.  So the mere fact that my mother is dying isn’t earth-shattering to me.

The suddenness of it is a bit of a shock.  The shortness of breath came on rapidly – over just a period of weeks, without her even quite paying attention to how bad it had gotten until she could no longer walk from room to room without huffing and puffing.  Some people seem fixated on the fact that she’s always been so healthy, as if that should somehow preclude her getting sick.  The fact that she’s never smoked makes getting lung cancer seem inconceivable to others.  Neither of those factors makes me blink.  Cancer – all types – is an equal opportunity disease, striking the healthy and the sick, the old, the young, and though certain types of cancer are more common from certain types of exposures, any cancer can show up in anyone, no matter how well they take care of themselves.

The reaction that I least can relate to, though, runs along the lines of, “What a bad time to get this kind of news!  Sure must spoil the holidays for you.”   “This Christmas must be so bittersweet for you!,” or even, “I guess you won’t be doing much for Christmas this year, will you?”  (Note that I didn’t say I don’t understand those reactions, just that I don’t relate.)

“For behold!  I bring you good news of great joy which shall be to all people!”  In this season of Good News, getting the news that this is my mother’s last Christmas with us is NOT bad news.  Christmas is not just about “little baby Jesus.”  Christmas is just Act One of Easter!  Jesus’ suffering for us began the day He emptied Himself of Heaven and took on the form of a man so that He could be a High Priest Who can fully sympathize with us in ALL we go through.  In Jesus’ life, He lived every life.  In His death, He died every death.  There is nothing we go through of which He cannot say, “Nope.  No idea what that’s like.”  Getting the news of Mama’s cancer right now, in this season when we celebrate the birth of the One Who came to be our Savior keeps us focusing not on Mama’s coming death, but on HIS death and resurrection already accomplished, and His second advent yet to come. 

There are advantages and disadvantages to the different modes of each of my parents’ death.  It was a blessing not to watch my dad suffer, but it was hard not to get to say good-bye, hard not knowing those “lasts” that we were spending together.  We will watch my mom dwindle, and there will probably be some suffering, and, yes, it will be hard, but at least getting the news now means we get to cherish this last Christmas together, making every opportunity count – not for HER so much as for us.  Once she’s in Heaven with the Lord, those memories will pale in any significance compared to the joy of being in His presence, but for us, those memories will be dear and sweet to carry forward until our own times come to join her in that Church Triumphant.

There have been, and will be, tears during this season.  Knowing this is our last together adds a poignancy to each decoration, each carol, each card.  I know when I next get out my decorations, Mama won’t be here to see them.  But as a Stephen Curtis Chapman song that I have always loved, but which now has even more meaning to me, says, she’s going to be Home for Christmas next year – and since when is going Home bad news?  Sad for us who will be left behind awhile, yes.  But not BAD. 

Mama’s house is decorated to the nines just like always.  It’s taken her all month to get things out, and she’s had to have some help with some things, but while she’s still living, nothing on earth could stop her from celebrating Christmas!   The GOOD News has trumped and triumphed over any bad or sad news.  Even in our sadness, we still have great joy!  JOY TO THE WORLD!  THE LORD HAS COME!